Flabalicious Fridays: My Story

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This is MY STORY!!!

 

So I have had this post written for the last two weeks and I have been pushing it back from being posted because after reading it I realized that I am disclosing an very embarrassing situation and I realized that I am actually giving TRUE insight to my life.  While that was the premise and the plan behind these posts, it didn’t TRULY set in until I actually read this post.  So after weeks of debating, I have finally decided that I am going to swallow my pride and share my story.  So here it goes!

I’ve struggled with my weight my ENTIRE Life, I was always the chubby kid and while I was teased by kids in school, the fact that I was the smart kid and I was a cute kid my chubbiness was overlooked by some including myself.  I remember one day in grade school I got into an argument with a boy by the name of Cornelius who asked me why I was so fat.  Being the creative kid that I was, I came up with this far out story (that I now know is totally absurd) that my older brothers forced me eat a HUGE bowl of chili and ever since then I have been fat…lol.  When I said Far Out, I was so detailed with this story that I had the ENTIRE classroom in awe.  It was so detailed that I myself almost believed that this bowl of chili was the culprit for my chubbiness.   Determined to show that my story was indeed the truth, I went as far as to bring the culprit i.e. “said bowl”  to school the following day.  My intent was to show my classmates how huge the bowl was and how the bowl was responsible for the extra weight that I carried. Well needless to say when you are in 4th grade stories as absurd as that one will fly…and it did!

choya young

Me, as a Diva in Training with my mommy!

I graduated from 8th grade wearing a size 16 in women’s clothing.  Still not recognizing for myself how large I was for my age because again I was cute and I was smart, being chubby was just a technicality and I wore my thickness well.  I didn’t get conscious of my weight until my senior year in High School, as I found a really HOT dress that was a size 12 that I wanted to wear to prom.  So I went on my version of a “low calorie diet” that consisted of a Hostess Honey Bun with Orange Juice for breakfast, nothing for lunch, and a snickers with a Mountain Dew for dinner…yummy right? lol  While I don’t think this would work for me at this age, however it worked at age 16…I think my teenage metabolism was totally responsible.  Nonetheless, I got down to a size 12 for prom and I looked good at a size 12.  I weighed in at a whooping 179 pounds and I got the prom dress that I worked so hard to get into.  I looked good, I felt good, but the weight loss didn’t last long, not long at all!

choya college

This is me at size 12, hanging in my dorm my freshman year of college

Off to college I went and Freshman 15 was a figment of my imagination, it was more like Freshman 50.  We spent a lot of late nights ordering $5.00 pizzas that had a cesspool of grease sitting in the middle of it.  We spent a lot of late nights bar hopping, hanging out at LaBamba’s getting burritos the size or our heads and it did not help that I dated a manager at Burger King so we got FREE Burger King WHENEVER we wanted.  It’s not that I have a huge love for food, it’s just that I was always surrounded by an opportunity to eat.  Either I was cooking large meals for my friends and I or we were going out to eat.  Then I got a job as a Bartendar/Waitress at Cheddars, fell in love with their baked potato soup and that became my meal of choice daily. Now I wish I could say that Baked Potato Soup, just like the Chili caused me to gain my weight as an adult, but I think the daily oreo mud pies, cookie monsters, margaritas, ribs, and ultimate nachos helped contribute too.

Yep freshman 50 didn’t stop at my freshman year, I added extra weight each year until I left college, got home and checked out the scale to see I weighed…wait for it…wait for it….263 POUNDS.  Yes in the 4 years I was away from home I gained damn near 100 pounds, no wonder my credit cards were maxed out from buying new clothes.  Yet, I was still in denial about my weight, I was still cute but I had graduated to a Diva as cute isn’t a word to describe a grown woman, I had curves in all the right places, I was still smart, and at this age I had men hitting on me so I couldn’t be that huge right?!? Wrong!

Subconsciously I knew I needed to change my lifestyle and my weight. I tried working out, but would get motivated then quit.  I tried eating differently, but Harold’s Chicken would ALWAYS interrupt that flow.  I tried pills, shakes, shots, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Starvation….I tried it all.  I would get motivated, lose a few pounds and gain twice what I lost back.  Then I got pregnant with my daughter, now surprisingly I only gained 20 pounds with my daughter, however when I got pregnant with my son I gained another 30 pounds.  New weight after my son was born 318 pounds.  Now I was taking notice, now I realized there was a problem!  Yes I was still a Diva, yes I was still smart, but No I couldn’t fit into anymore of my clothes and Did I just buy a pair of jeans in a size 26/28?!?  Something had to give….but as with everything you have to go through the motions.  Just because you REALIZE there is a problem, doesn’t mean that you are ready to attack the problem or make a change.  Something has to break you down, something has to tear you apart, something has to snap inside of you to make you WANT MORE or WANT BETTER.  This moment wasn’t my moment to change or even to start the process of change.  That came later, it came after my DJ Company did a year Midwest Tour with Mike Epps and I looked back at my pictures (the pictures below) and did not like what I saw.  Change came with an event that was the most embarrassing moment in my life.  Change became inevitable at that point.

choyapicsThis is MY STORY!!  And there is more to it, come back next week to discover MY BREAKING POINT!  My moment of CHANGE!  Tune into next week’s Flabalicious Fridays!

 


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Comments

  1. So proud of your for sharing your story. It takes courage and strength to let your personal truth out. You have come so far and I am so proud to call you my friend. Hugs!!

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