#100DayFitnessChallenge: Day 3 Overcoming Fears
To know me is to know my story. So this blogpost is not really about my progress today or any “real challenge” I am having today, its about my fears…fears that have been brought upon because I am PLUSH Sized…lol (yes Plush not Plus). So let me share a story with you. Almost two years ago (August 2012) I was super amped and excited about attending my very first blogging conference in NYC. I decided to go on a whim because I wanted my blog to grow and I needed not only some direction but motivation. So I scrimped and scrapped to come up with the funds to attend this event. It seemed as if it was destiny for me to go because I was able to get my conference ticket discounted (even at the last minute), I won a contest that sponsored my clothing for the trip and I was lucky enough to find a flight that under $150. I was going to NYC.
Super geeked about attending my first conference I sat at an overcrowded terminal minding my own business when an employee of Southwest came and sat next to me. Here I am all smiles, ready to conquer the world and feeling amazing; little did I know that in a matter of minutes my ENTIRE attitude was going to shift.
The gentleman says to me “So you heading to NYC huh?”
Me: Yep and I can’t wait (I’m a chatter box so I welcomed the conversation). I’m going to a blogging conference and I am totally stoked about it.
Him: That’s awesome, is this your first time going to NY.
Me: Nope, I have family there been there many times.
Him: Really, how often do you fly Southwest? (This should’ve been an indication that he was about to hit me with a gut shot, but I didn’t catch on)
Me: I primarily only fly Southwest, but normally I fly with my family. This is my first “mommy gets to get away trip” so I am flying solo.
Him: So then I am assuming you DON’T Know our policy about LARGER guests flying on Southwest
Me: (At this point with a blank stare on my face, no longer feeling giddy and pissed because who the hell is he calling a Larger Guest) Uhm not sure what you mean about your policy for LARGER guests…why don’t you enlighten me?
Him: Well due to YOUR SIZE it may be uncomfortable for our other guests to ride alongside you, so we are going to REQUIRE you to purchase a second ticket. This way we can ensure you are comfortable as well as our other guests.
Me: I’ll be comfortable without purchasing another ticket. Thank you very much!
Him: Well you see you CAN’T board the plane without purchasing another seat. If the flight doesn’t sell out we will be happy to refund you for the second ticket, but in the meantime we have to ensure YOUR Comfort as well as the comfort of our other guests.
Me: (Fighting back curse words and tears at the same time) Let me speak to your manager.
Long story short, no matter what I said no matter what I did, Southwest considered me to be a LARGER Guest and I was forced to purchase a second ticket. The terminal was packed and things got loud, so I know other guests heard my concerns as well as witnessed the tears that eventually began to flow. Fact 1 about being a PLUSH Sized Diva, is that you sometime forget that you are not the size that others consider NORMAL and there are times when you have to make special provisions to be accommodated. Fact 2: I will NEVER forget that day and will NEVER forget that dialogue. It’s part of what put me on the mission to go from being Super Plush Sized to just being Plush Sized. I have never been a thin girl and I will never fit society’s stigma of what I should look like a 5 feet 7 inches. I have hips, I have thighs, I have butt and I have gutt…lol. Most importantly I love my shape, while I want to be smaller for health reasons (and so I can ride all the roller coasters at the theme parks #DontJudgeMe) I don’t want to lose all my thickness.
Now you may be wondering what brought about this blog post, well I am currently sitting in the airport about to board United to head to…yep you guessed it New York and well an employee came and sat next to me and I felt my entire body tense up. My mind immediately went back to that day in August and then I had to think to myself…since then I have lost close to 100 lbs, I have flown United (in November to be exact) and had not issues, but the fear of the past just swept over my entire body. I literally felt a panic attack coming on, as I was nervous about what was going to transpire next. So this blogpost is about overcoming fears, overcoming my fears that have been brought about due to my PLUSHNESS and embracing who I am today and not what I looked like almost a year ago. I mean I was fabulous then, know that I am just as fabulous now!!!
In case you are wondering the employee just stopped by to tell me I had a great smile!